Nearly killed by a can of soda
August 12, 2005 – 4:43 pmI had an unopened soda can in my cupholder in the car today. On the way back from Rosemary Beach it tried to explode. Luckily the soda can manufacturers decided to add that extra bit of room for the can to expand if need be.
I was driving along at seventy five, minding my own business, scanning the horizon for police officers when I heard what sounded like a rock hitting my windshield at approximately 4 times the speed of sound.
I almost ran off the road when I ducked.
I looked around and my windshield was intact. So I looked around some more and noticed that the top of my soda can was bulging up like it was about to give birth. I assume that sitting in the sun all day, then getting shaken up by the vibrations of my high speed travel was all it could handle. I kept driving, cautiously glancing down at the can every few seconds to make sure it wasn’t going to totally blow up.
After a mile or so of that I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to release the pressure somehow before it gave out. I carefully placed my index finger under the pull tab and slowly, gently pulled up on it. I couldn’t help but think that this was a very bad idea.
I eventually broke the seal and foam started to build up on top of the bulge. With one hand on the steering wheel and one on the soda I had no way of putting the windows down. I didn’t have time to slow down and stop. All I could do was try and suck it all down before it went all over the place. If you’ve ever done that with a soda that’s about to foam over you probably know what happened next.
The little fizzy bubbles that soda is so famous for go straight to the back of your throat and induce coughing quicker than any unfiltered camel I’ve ever smoked. Not only that, but this soda had been sitting in the florida sun for about 6 hours and it was fucking HOT. I couldn’t just stop and let it get all in my lap or all over my car though. I had to coordinate the fits of coughing with sucking down as much hot soda foam as I could bear, all the while doing seventy five down a busy highway.
It must have been a pretty picture for anyone that caught it.
